Mother’s day is almost here!!! Ask yourself if you are as good as you can be as a son or daughter. It’s not always easy.
Sometimes, you’ve made a mistake and can’t find a way to fix it. Other times, you fundamentally disagree with your parents and don’t know how to approach them without starting a fight. The most important thing to remember is that, while being a son or daughter has its challenges, so does parenthood, and the best thing you can do is to give your parents your love and support.
1.Spend time with your parents.
One of the best ways to show your parents how much you love them is to simply spend time with them. This can mean occasionally having dinner with them, chatting with them on the phone or dropping in to say hello.
Arrange regular times to be with them. When you do spend time with them, don’t roll your eyes or act like it’s mandatory. Don’t check your watch and surf the internet on your phone while with them.
2.Share what’s going on in your lives.
Your parents love you and want to know what’s going on in your life. While they may not need to know all of the daily friend drama in your social circle, they would love to know what’s on your mind, from your struggles with your work to any big problems you’re having with your friends. They really do care, and even if they can’t always help, they’d just like to know what’s happening. Your parents will feel upset if they’re completely shut out of your life.
Don’t be afraid to ask for their advice. You can politely listen to advice but then it’s your life and YOUR decision.
Ask your parents what’s going on in their lives. Show interest. Conversations should not just be about you.
It’s easy to take your parents for granted. After all, there was a time when they did absolutely everything for you. As you grow older, it can feel natural for you to forget the fact that it takes your parents time and effort to take care of you, and you have to remember to thank them for all that they do.
4.Teach your parents things.
Your parents may not be incredibly tech savvy and may not know some of the things going on in the modern world. Try not to laugh at them or make them feel inadequate for not knowing these things, and instead, be there to help them learn new skills, remembering all the times they have taught you how to do something. Teaching them things will make your relationship feel less one-sided.
5.Do bonding activities with both of your parents.
These can include going to a baseball game, hiking, or taking a walk with your dad, or going for walks, going out to the movies, or having a nice meal with your mother.
6.Don’t turn your parents against each other.
If you want to be a good son or daughter, then you should help keep your parents’ relationship strong (if your parents are still together). Relationships are difficult enough as it is, and you shouldn’t try to drive a wedge between your parents. Work to keep their relationship strong; if nothing else, it’ll make you happier to see your parents happy together.
7.Take the time to listen and converse. Don’t mock them.
You may think that your relationship with your parents is one-sided, and that they should listen to you and your problems and offer advice and then call it a day. In fact, sometimes your parents may also need you to listen to them, whether they’re struggling with one of your siblings or having a difficult time at work or with your grandparents. They may not even have a problem, but may just want to share something interesting that happened at work or something they read. The important thing is that you’re there to listen instead of acting like you’re too busy or only half-listening and checking your phone every five minutes. Give them the time they need to tell you what’s on their mind; they more than deserve it.
When your parents are talking to you, give them your full attention. Don’t shift around on your feet or look longingly to the door. Don’t ever make them feel like you have better things to do than to talk to them. Don’t roll your eyes or mock them when they are expressing something that is important to them.
8.Establish your independence.
As you grow older, you’ll find that you can’t depend on your parents to do everything for you or fund your purchases. Your parents will appreciate that you’re independent and willing to do things on your own and accept responsibility.
9.Know when to agree to disagree.
As you grow older and develop your own personality and ideals, you may find that you and your parents fundamentally disagree about many things. Maybe your parents are religious while you struggle to believe in a higher power. Maybe your parents are conservative while you identify as a liberal. The important thing to keep in mind is not that you have to agree with everything your parents believe, but that you have to know how to respectfully disagree with them instead of starting a fight over every little difference you may have.
10.Learn to see your parents as people.
As you grow older, you should begin to see your parents as people who are more than just “Mom” and “Dad.” They have busy lives, friendships, relationships with their own parents, careers that they may or may not be happy with, and at least one child to take care of. Take some time to consider how busy and overwhelming life can be for your parents, and consider how certain difficult situations may make them feel before you start an argument or protest too much.
It takes character to be able to step into someone else’s shoes. The next time you have a fight with one of your parents, try to see the situation from his or her perspective to see if it gives you a better understanding of why they disagree with you.
11.Communicate with your parents as often as you can.
Once you move out of the home, whether you’re in college or living in another state for a new job, it’s important to stay in touch with your parents. Call them at least once or a few days a week, send them emails when you think of them, and make a point to visit home for holidays, long weekends, or just as often as you’re able. They’ll appreciate the time you’re giving them and will feel loved and cared for because of the effort you make to see them. This shows them that they’re on your mind even when you’re apart.
12.Be happy — and reassure your parents when you’re not.
Parents are the happiest when their own adult children are happy in their lives. This doesn’t mean you have to have a perfect life or that you should feel bad if things have taken a bad turn for you, but it does mean that you should work to live a meaningful and fulfilling life. If every time you talk to your parents, all you do is complain about your job, romantic life, or living situation, then they will begin to think that they have failed you by giving you a bad life. It’s more important that you do the best you can with what you have, instead of striving for some impossible-to-reach version of happiness.
13.Don’t try to parent your parents.
As you get older, you may have the temptation to tell your parents how to live their lives. While they may need your support as they get older, especially if they have trouble taking care of themselves, you should still try not to condescend to them or make them feel like they are helpless on their own. Give them the help they need without talking down to them or acting like they have no agency, and they will love you for it.
Avoid condescending to them, nagging them, or giving them a hard time for doing something their own way. Even if your way is quicker or more efficient, they may want to stick to their old routines, and you can’t hold that against them.
14.Treat them as fellow adult friends.
Another thing you can do to keep your relationship strong as you grow older is to treat your parents like they are fellow adults, instead of always thinking of them in the “Mom” or “Dad” role. This can help you discuss topics like finances or child rearing on an even dating, and may lead you to get some great advice. Though it’s important not to condescend to your parents when you feel like you need to take care of them, seeing them as fellow adults can help add dynamic element to your relationship.
If you see them as fellow adults, you’ll be able to be honest with them instead of just telling them what you think they want to hear from a model son or daughter. They’ll appreciate your candor.
Be a ripple in the pond. Make our world a better place!!!
Do the right thing! Pay it forward. Together, let’s make a positive difference.
“To give back and be given is to feel the sun from both sides” … Harry Mingail